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Coping Styles

 Learn about your coping mechanisms and how they can help or hinder you. 

This assessment is confidential and asks thirty questions about how you interacted with your family member/partner in the last three months

You may answer each question with 

No -- I never did this.

Once or twice -- Yes, I did to this, but only once or twice in the last three months. 

Sometimes --Yes, I did this, but maybe twice a month in the last three months.

Often -- My actions happen every week or many times a week.

Please remember, only answer for the last three months. 

Start

Question 1 of 30

(1) In the last three months, did you?

 

Refuse to lend them money or to help them out financially in other ways?

 

A

No

B

Once or twice

C

Sometimes

D

Often

Question 2 of 30

(2) In the last three months, did you?

 

Put the interests of other members of the family before them?

A

No

B

Once or twice

C

Sometimes

D

Often

Question 3 of 30

(3) In the last three months, did you?

 

Put yourself out for them, for example by getting them to bed or by cleaning up a mess after they had been drinking/using drugs?

A

No

B

Once or twice

C

Sometimes

D

Often

Question 4 of 30

(4) In the last three months, did you?

 

Give them money even when you thought it would be spent on drinking/using drugs?

A

No

B

Once or twice

C

Sometimes

D

Often

Question 5 of 30

(5) In the last three months, did you?

 

Sit down together with them and talk frankly about what could be done about their drinking/drug use?

A

No

B

Once or twice

C

Sometimes

D

Often

Question 6 of 30

(6) In the last three months, did you?

 

Start an argument with them about their drinking/drug use?

A

No

B

Once or twice

C

Sometimes

D

Often

Question 7 of 30

(7) In the last three months, did you?

 

Plead with them about their use of alcohol or drugs?

A

No

B

Once or twice

C

Sometimes

D

Often

Question 8 of 30

(8) In the last three months, did you?

 

Leave them alone to look after themselves or keep out of their way when they were under the influence of alcohol or drugs?

A

No

B

Once or twice

C

Sometimes

D

Often

Question 9 of 30

(9) In the last three months, did you?

 

Make it quite clear to them that their drinking was making you upset and that it had to change?

A

No

B

Once or twice

C

Sometimes

D

Often

Question 10 of 30

(10) In the last three months, did you?

 

Feel too frightened to do anything?

A

No

B

Once or twice

C

Sometimes

D

Often

Question 11 of 30

(11) In the last three months, did you?

 

Tried to limit their drug or alcohol use by making some rule about it, for example forbidding using in the house, or stopping them from  bringing friends home?

A

No

B

Once or twice

C

Sometimes

D

Often

Question 12 of 30

(12) In the last three months, did you?

 

Pursue your own interests or look for new interests or occupation for yourself, get more involved in a political, church, sports, or other organization?

 

A

No

B

Once or twice

C

Sometimes

D

Often

Question 13 of 30

(13) In the last three months, did you?

 

Encourage them to take an oath or promise not to drink or use drugs?

A

No

B

Once or twice

C

Sometimes

D

Often

Question 14 of 30

(14) In the last three months, did you?

 

Felt too hopeless to do anything?

A

No

B

Once or twice

C

Sometimes

D

Often

Question 15 of 30

(15) In the last three months, did you?

 

Avoid them as much as possible because of their drug or alcohol use?

A

No

B

Once or twice

C

Sometimes

D

Often

Question 16 of 30

(16) In the last three months, did you?

 

Got moody or emotional with them?

A

No

B

Once or twice

C

Sometimes

D

Often

Question 17 of 30

(17) In the last three months, did you?

 

Watch their every move or checked up on them or kept a close eye on them?

A

No

B

Once or twice

C

Sometimes

D

Often

Question 18 of 30

(18) In the last three months, did you?

 

Got on with your own life or acted as if they were not there?

A

No

B

Once or twice

C

Sometimes

D

Often

Question 19 of 30

(19) In the last three months, did you?

 

Made it clear that you won’t accept their reasons for using drugs or drinking, or cover up for them?

A

No

B

Once or twice

C

Sometimes

D

Often

Question 20 of 30

(20) In the last three months, did you?

 

Made threats that you didn’t really mean to carry out?

A

No

B

Once or twice

C

Sometimes

D

Often

Question 21 of 30

(21) In the last three months, did you?

 

Made clear to them your expectations of what they should do to contribute to the family or relationship?

A

No

B

Once or twice

C

Sometimes

D

Often

Question 22 of 30

(22) In the last three months, did you?

 

Stuck up for them or stood by them when others were criticizing them?

A

No

B

Once or twice

C

Sometimes

D

Often

Question 23 of 30

(23) In the last three months, did you?

 

Get into a state where you didn’t or couldn’t make any decision?

A

No

B

Once or twice

C

Sometimes

D

Often

Question 24 of 30

(24) In the last three months, did you?

 

Accept the situation as a part of life that couldn’t be changed?  (It is what it is…)

A

No

B

Once or twice

C

Sometimes

D

Often

Question 25 of 30

(25) In the last three months, did you?

 

Accuse them of not loving you, or of letting you down?

A

No

B

Once or twice

C

Sometimes

D

Often

Question 26 of 30

(26) In the last three months, did you?

 

Sat down with them to help fix a financial situation?

A

No

B

Once or twice

C

Sometimes

D

Often

Question 27 of 30

(27) In the last three months, did you?

 

When things have happened because of their drinking, made excuses for them, covered up for them, or taken the blame yourself?

A

No

B

Once or twice

C

Sometimes

D

Often

Question 28 of 30

(28) In the last three months, did you?

 

Searched for their drugs or alcohol and thrown it away?

A

No

B

Once or twice

C

Sometimes

D

Often

Question 29 of 30

(29) In the last three months, did you?

 

Sometimes put yourself first by looking after yourself or treating yourself to something special?

A

No

B

Once or twice

C

Sometimes

D

Often

Question 30 of 30

(30) In the last three months, did you?

 

Try to keep things looking normal, pretended all was well when it wasn’t or hidden the extent of their drug or alcohol abuse?

A

No

B

Once or twice

C

Sometimes

D

Often

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